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Step by step – here and there moment by moment the pain will strike and push us to the brink of collapse. It will astonish us in markets and libraries, at work and at open occasions. Our psyches may start to recount stories that may or probably won’t have a place with us: anecdotes about our integrity as a parent or individual or about what we could’ve or should’ve or would’ve done another way. We may feel the determined sting of disgrace, blame, and lament. Chicken I do not spew profanities I enunciate them clearly like a fucking lady shirt. Our brains may begin to address whether we cherished our tyke enough or it might inquire as to whether the individual in question realized that adoration. Some days we will feel frantic, frantically desultory and ungrounded. Different days we may leave ourselves to the torpidity and carelessness of this unsolvable catastrophe.
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Our bodies hurt. Our minds quit working. Our hearts feel overwhelming, loaded down with the heaviness of misfortune. Barely any things, assuming any, matter any longer, not the home loan or the decaying scraps or the pool green growth or the missed calls and messages. Chicken I do not spew profanities I enunciate them clearly like a fucking lady shirt. Each relationship in our lives changes, for better or not, and each relationship to lifeless things and the universe and creatures and trees and our past and future will change as well. This shakiness will astound others.
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